My dad sends me lots of emails. And by lots, I mean LOTS. Have an Italian joke, he’s forwarded it (Don’t worry, we’re Italian so are the only ones who A. understand them and B. might be offended). Got a powerpoint deck of kittie pictures or sunsets around the world set to Mozart? Yup, seen it. He sends so many of these emails that I actually have a dedicated email address just for him (well, for him and a few other people with similar habits). Sometimes, there’s one that I makes me chuckle. Occasionally, there’s one that makes me laugh out loud. And rarely (and I mean RARELY) there’s one worth sharing. Today…is a rare day. For my fellow grammar geeks, here’s:
Sex and good grammar
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned, “This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say ‘1-2-3’.” When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?” “Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4’,” he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
He was very eager to see if it worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Immediately he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked, “What was the 1-2-3 for?”
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
And yes, I recognize that it’s not technically grammatically incorrect to end a sentence with a preposition, depending on the sentence, the preposition and if smacking the person doing so is likely to get them to realize that they sound like an idiot. But I still thought it was funny and worth sharing. So what if it’s not a rare day in your world…it is in mine.
Got any other good grammar jokes worth sharing? Cause I know there are more than a few of you in my circle who appreciate them…